A CRUDE LOOK AT MOTHERHOOD W/ JILLIAN (CASUALLY GORGEOUS)
You already know that we love Mother Earth, but today we’re focusing on a different kind of mama. 🤰
In honor of Mother’s Day next week, we sat down with one of our favorite beauty gurus, Jillian of Casually Gorgeous, to talk honestly about motherhood, self-care, natural products, and how she lives CRUDE.
CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD?
I've wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. I was one of those kids in kindergarten drawing pictures of myself holding 8 babies, under the title "What I want to be when I grow up". I'm sure that choice was informed by being really close to, and looking up to my own mother, who had 7 kids. My husband Dan also really wanted to be a parent, so we decided to have a baby pretty shortly after we got married. I had a miscarriage before I got pregnant with my son Grey. I know it's common, but I think it's important to mention because the frequency with which terrible things happen, has very little effect on how you process the grief of it happening to you. It was really hard for me, and even though I got pregnant with Grey shortly after, it affected how I approached pregnancy and parenting, from that point on. I was more tentative about emotionally throwing myself at something I didn't have right in front of me.
You don't become a new person when you become a parent. I have the same flaws I had before, but now my priorities are different. I eat better because I want my kid to eat the best, and I'm not as lazy because my lifestyle doesn't afford me that luxury anymore.
OBVIOUSLY BECOMING A MOTHER CHANGES YOUR LIFE, BUT CAN YOU SHARE SOME OF YOUR PERSONAL HIGHS AND LOWS? WHAT’S MOST REWARDING, MOST SCARY, ETC?
You don't become a new person when you become a parent. I have the same flaws I had before, but now my priorities are different. I eat better because I want my kid to eat the best, and I'm not as lazy because my lifestyle doesn't afford me that luxury anymore. The scariest thing about being a parent is that it really is like wearing your heart outside your body. My love for my son is fierce, but I don't want to control him. I don't think that's my job. And that's really difficult because I want him to learn and grow, without feeling pain or heartache, which I know is impossible. The lows are when you have that split second thought, "Did I make a huge mistake? Maybe I'm not cut out to be a parent". I think every parent thinks that sometimes, and there's a lot of self-judgement and guilt that comes with it. The highs are every quiet moment you realize what you have. When you sneak in their room and look at their perfect, sleeping bodies, or when you watch them popping bubbles in the sunshine and recognize pure bliss on their little faces.
TIME TO BRAG ABOUT YOUR SON!
My son is unreal. He was a really difficult baby, and the first time he slept for longer than 2 1/2 hours, he was 8 months old, but even through all of that, he had an unmistakable sweetness to him. Now he sleeps 9pm-9am, with a 3-hour nap in the afternoon, and I know exactly how lucky I am, every single day. Grey is charming like his dad, with a flair for the dramatic, which he gets from me. But he blends it all in with this unsuspecting stubbornness that is all him. I don't really believe in labeling kids "advanced" at any one thing because everyone has different strengths, and everything seems to balance out at some point, but Grey is an excellent communicator. He's a two-year-old chatterbox, and he's constantly blowing strangers away with his vocabulary (I'm sure the marshmallow body, winning smile, and blonde curls don't hurt). My mom is always remarking that watching him is like reliving my childhood, and I don't think there is a better compliment in the world.
The scariest thing about being a parent is that it really is like wearing your heart outside your body. My love for my son is fierce, but I don't want to control him.
HOW DO YOU BALANCE YOUR PASSION FOR BEAUTY/MAKEUP WITH MOTHERHOOD?
I guess I try to treat it like any other interest of mine. I want my son to view it as something that interests me, as opposed to something that is part of who I am. I believe in raising girls and boys the same, and we really only talk about how mothers' beauty ideals affect their daughters, but boys have body images too. I want my son to witness me being a confident person, regardless of what is or isn't on my face, so he knows where confidence comes from, regardless of gender. On a daily basis, that means committing less time to getting ready and making it a side note, instead of a priority. That can get pretty tricky when you also do it for a business, but it's a daily juggle, just like making time for my other interests.
HOW DO YOU WORK SELF-CARE AND SELF-LOVE INTO YOUR ROUTINE?
Like most moms, I struggle with this. It really helps that I have a partner that's always looking out for me, and that values the work I put into our family and home. It makes it easier to ask for the things I need. When you have kids, and no regular childcare, making time for yourself isn't a decision you can make on your own, which makes it extra tricky. You have to decide you're worth the juggle, to make time for yourself, and that's a lot harder than just wearing lipstick or not. That's a work in progress for me, but I'm getting better at it. There's a cheap little spa down the street from me, and I try to get over there for a massage once a month or so. It's not the most incredible massage you're ever going to get, but it forces me to turn my phone off and sit with my own thoughts, which none of us do enough of these days. I'm also trying to drink more water, and acknowledge it as an act of self-love. Sometimes it's those little ones that make the biggest difference.
HOW DID YOU FIND CRUDE AND WHAT DREW YOU TO IT?
My little sister Miriem actually told me about it. She was a big fan and kept telling me to get in touch with Denise because my Casually Gorgeous community would love the products. Even though my community is small, by social media standards, they are very loyal, so I don't take product recommendations lightly. I also don't partner with brands very often, because I want to remain impartial. The more I learned about CRUDE, the more sold I was. I'll use a great product, but I'll marry a brand with consistently great products, good people behind it, with a mission I can get behind. That's CRUDE to me.
It makes me feel good that we can use the same product, and I don't have to teach him that the chemicals are for me, while he uses the gentle stuff.
DO YOU EVER USE CRUDE WITH YOUR SON?
I try to really limit the products and ingredients he's exposed to, so the new body wash is his first introduction to CRUDE. He's never been big on baths, so we usually shower together, and he's very interested in everything I do and use in there. It makes me feel good that we can use the same product, and I don't have to teach him that the chemicals are for me, while he uses the gentle stuff.
WHAT CRUDE PRODUCTS/ROUTINES WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR ANY MOTHERS OUT THERE THAT HAVEN’T YET EXPERIENCED OIL CLEANSING?
I always tell people to invest in the STARTER Kit, because it's what really sells you on the difference between oil cleansing, and what you're currently using. Every skin type benefits from less fluctuation in the oil balance of their skin. Even if you just start with EVERYTHING Oil and PULL Cloths, you'll get on board. Then you'll realize you'd like a good deep clean, and try the DETOX Mask. Once you've got the whole system, you find your groove. I love that CRUDE is thorough, without being too time-consuming. That's really important for moms, especially ones with young kids.
DO YOU OR YOUR SON HAVE ANY SKIN SENSITIVITIES/ISSUES THAT CRUDE HAS HELPED CLEAR UP?
I became really aware of what soap is doing to our skin after I had my son. I felt so weird about putting harsh cleansers on his perfect little skin. I researched and tried lots of alternative cleansers since then, and CRUDE WASH* is the best. My son also developed nummular eczema when he was a year old, so we've been avoiding soap even more since then, and this is exactly the product we were looking for.
WHAT’S YOUR IDEA OF A PERFECT MOTHER’S DAY?I would wake up slowly, and walk to brunch with my husband and son. We would swing by the park on the way home, and sip a tea while we watch Grey, and chat about our week. I would get a massage during Grey's nap time, do some art projects together in the afternoon, and wrap up the night by going out to dinner with my husband. Now that I write that all down, I think I've had several Saturdays that got really close to that. I just gave myself a mental high five.